Random notes that are 6 years old

While visiting Washington for the first time in 2 ½ years, I found myself looking through the stuff of mine in my parents basement, thumbing through and deciding what could be brought back with us, I found a journal of mine.  There were entries, day after day, from Day 1 to Day 90, each day had the most random nonsensical  things listed.  Such as: Ann Marie drive, will get refund for ticket, toothpaste, Marcel, Trail Mix, Mike email, Sleep in, heated blanket, Free Dinner, quiet house.  Oddly, I had NO MEMORY of making such entries, but it intrigues me, so I want to figure out why.

I took the journal with me, and have looked at it again and again.  It could be that the entries are from Lent (which I used to do, but haven’t in the past few years), Day 1 is Feb 4 and Day 90 is May 12.  Based on the people I randomly mention, this must have been from 2008.  Quick internet search later- Easter was on March 23, 2008, but Lent Started on Feb 6, 2008.  So it is possible maybe these entries had something to do with Lent but I continued to do them after Easter, when Lent was over.

I do remember this period of my life.  I was desperate for a change, for God to show up, to move, to move in me, for something to be different.   I was working as a data entry slave at a yarn wholesaler.  I worked with vulgar heathens who were really really mean; my job put overwhelming constant pain in both my wrists and shoulders, something I still struggle with 6 years after the fact.  I was lonely.  I wanted to be dating…and on my way to being married.  I needed my life to be better, really badly.

These random notes each day are really, when I look closer at them, the small little things which brightened up my day.  They were the things I was grateful for, so that I wouldn’t only focus on the negativity which was overwhelming me but also on the small joys, which would help me to see what God was doing in my life.   I wasn’t forgotten.  And now, 6 years later, when I look at these daily notes I can see that during this period of my life, where I really needed God to show up and come through for me—He DID!  It was during this period of time, I met Mike!  My husband!  My life was forever changed during this period of time.  I can even look and see that on the day when Mike and I had our first date, the things I was grateful for was: no snow on the road this morning, slow day at work, email from mike, erin, don’t have CPR training or liability insurance, it’s Friday, a week from payday and BSF spring break.  

I also have a brief play by play of other things that happened on days when Mike told me he likes me, he REALLY likes me, on the day when we became boyfriend and girlfriend, etc.    It is kind of sweet to look back on the random things.

But more importantly I feel inspired, to do this type of journaling and fasting again.  I talked to Mike about it and we are going to journal and fast together.  During Lent we are going to be fasting from Netflix and Facebook.  I’m excited to see how God is going to show up for us this time, as a family.  How much closer we are going to be with Him during this time.  What He is going to show us and how our lives are going to change.  Cause even though I’m not in such a desperate place as before, it is never a bad thing to step it up during your pursuit of God.